


Peter's Dentist Appointment

by Manager_of_Mischief



Series: Operation Repentance [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avenger Loki (Marvel), Dentists, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki pays his debts, Loki trying his best, Manipulative Nick Fury, Precious Peter Parker, Sassy Loki (Marvel), Spideyloki, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark is So Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 11:31:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15818010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manager_of_Mischief/pseuds/Manager_of_Mischief
Summary: Peter:What the hell? I thought you said we were on the way to Disneyland! You even let me pack my stuff, I feel so betrayed! I thought you loved me!!Loki:Peter, it was the only way to get you to the dentist.





	Peter's Dentist Appointment

**Author's Note:**

> Warning(s): swearing

“You owe us. Big time,” Nick Fury’s voice boomed once Loki entered his office.

“I thought I paid off my debt by defeating Thanos for you,” came the smug reply. “I owe you nothing.”

“I’m the one who decides whether you spend the rest of your days rotting in SHIELD prison or lounging around here in the Avengers headquarters, so you owe me until I say you don’t. Understand?”

Loki just rolled his eyes and pulled up a chair to sit in front of Fury.

“What do you need from me?”

“Stark will brief you on your assignment. You can go now. Don’t let me down.”

Fury watched from his desk with a smile as Loki left, slamming the door on his way out.

* * *

“Can you teleport?” Tony asked. He had dark circles under his eyes and was simultaneously taking a phone call.

“Of course,” came Loki’s response.

Tony just held out a finger, signalling for Loki to wait as he negotiated the time of an appointment on the phone.

“No. Sorry. Yeah, I know. How about three o’clock in the afternoon. Yes, he’ll be there. Yes, I’ll pay for the appointment if he isn’t. Yes, I realize that you stop all operations at four. No. Wait, actually… yeah, no. Thank you. Bye.”

Tony turned his attention back to the confused god of mischief.

“I need you to take Peter to the dentist. The appointment’s at three.”

“What? You asked me here on an important mission to take your child to the dentist? Is that what I am to you? Some—”

Tony interrupted before Loki could continue. “I am not in the mood for your pompous ‘I’m royalty and better than you’ shit so just do it before I blow your face off or Nick Fury puts you in a cell.”

“Well I’m not of much help without a description of the child, or a location. Perhaps you should find someone who actually knows this Peter,” Loki replied smugly.

Tony simply handed him a tracking device, which projected Peter’s exact location on a map.

“He’ll be dressed in a blue and red spider suit. You won’t miss him.”

Loki just gaped at him but figured that if this simple task was all he had to do to pay off his debt and gain the team’s trust, it may well be worth it. He would also be lying if he said he wasn’t curious as to what a “blue and red spider suit” would look like. He quickly teleported himself to Peter’s location to find an active robbery taking place. A young man in a blue and red spandex costume with metal legs was busy restraining the robbers with chemical facsimiles of spider thread. Loki had seen many things in his lifetime, but he had never quite seen this. When he checked the time, it showed as 2:29pm.

One of the robbers cut himself free of the webbing just as another was pinned to the wall. The free one dove for his gun but found a dagger in his neck before he could grab it. The other struggling perpetrators all turned to look at Loki and became very still and silent. The spider child swung down from his high vantage point in the corner of the store and walked over to Loki.

“You throw knives and teleport? That’s so cool. I mean, I wouldn’t have killed that guy but I totally see where you’re coming from. Maybe tone down the violence a little next time, ok? You’re one of the good guys now,” Peter said, the words falling out of his mouth in rapid succession.

Loki just stared at him. Very few midgardians had treated him in such an objective manner.

“Well, I’m here to take you to the dentist. I wouldn’t be doing this if there wasn’t a very compelling reason for it,” Loki said, sheepishly.

Peter barely heard his statement, as his suit had just alerted him of another crime being committed on the other side of DC.

“Sorry Mr. Loki, but I have to go,” he said. “Tell Mr. Stark to reschedule that dentist appointment again because this is super important.”

“Wait!” Loki called. Peter paused on his way out, and Loki scrambled to come up with something convincing before the child could leave.

“I have a far more important mission for you,” he said. It was an ambiguous statement, but it bought him time to spin the lie more convincingly.

“What is it?” Peter asked.

“You know Disneyland? I’ve heard it’s a rather popular attraction, drawing huge crowds,” Loki began.

“We’re going to Disneyland?” Peter took a few steps toward Loki as he spoke.

“I’ve heard there may be a terrorist attack there in thirty minutes.”

“Wait. You’re taking me on a real mission? To Disneyland?” Peter looked completely stunned. “Just let me pack my stuff, ok?”

He was about to shoot a web when Loki reminded him that teleportation was a faster method of travel. Peter, immediately enthused, grabbed on to Loki’s hand. When they arrived in his room, the clock read 2:35pm.

“You have twenty minutes to pack everything you need,” Loki said, in as imperious a voice as he could muster. The spider child’s enthusiasm was somewhat infective, and Loki was beginning to feel excited about this for no real reason at all.

“Thank you so much, Mr. Loki! They never let me deal with big problems like this,” Peter gushed as he shoved web fluid and school materials into his backpack. “I’m finally going on a real mission, and with a god!”

Loki responded with a combination of a genuine smile and a self-satisfied mischievous smirk. Peter scurried around the room, using his webs to pull objects toward him.

“So, is this overnight, or just a day mission?” Peter asked, opening his wardrobe. There were still ten minutes left on the clock, so Loki decided to say that it was an overnight mission. The more excited the child was, the less likely he was to realize what a strange and unrealistic situation this was.

“Oh. My. God! You actually trust me to do this? I think you’re my new favorite person. I swear I won’t let you down.”

It was 2:54pm when Peter zipped up his backpack with an air of finality. It was also 2:54pm when Thor opened the door to his room.

“Brother, it’s good to see you,” he said, smiling jovially. “The man of iron has told me that the man of spiders must attend a meeting with a midgardian healer—I believe they are called doctors. Do you know anything about that?”

“I do,” Loki replied smoothly, “but I’m taking Peter to a far superior destination…”

He held out his hand and Peter took it, readying himself for teleportation. With a whoosh, the pair found themselves a few miles away from where they started.

Loki continued the statement he had started in Peter’s room: “…the dentist’s office.”

The god of mischief was exceptionally proud of himself, considering as they were five minutes early. The avengers had a habit of showing up to everything fashionably late, after all.

“What the hell? I thought you said we were on the way to Disneyland! You even let me pack my stuff, I feel so betrayed! I thought you loved me!!” Peter exclaimed as he realized where he was.

“Peter, it was the only way to get you to the dentist,” Loki replied in a slightly condescending manner, “and it would have gone against my good conscience to teleport you without your consent. As you said, I’m one of the good guys now.”

A couple of other waiting room dwellers chuckled at the outrageous situation, and several debates started up between parents about whether or not they would let Loki anywhere near their children. Once Peter was checked in and dragged off into the dentist’s office by some nurse, Loki returned to the avengers headquarters to confirm the success of his mission.

“Stark, I’m afraid you won’t have the distinct pleasure of ‘blowing my face off’ or seeing me locked in a SHIELD holding cell,” he said with a smirk.

“I’ll tell May her plan was a success then. I also owe her fifty dollars. Anyway, what were we talking about again?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “I’ve done my good deed. I’d like you to put in a good word for me with Fury and see if he’ll—”

“Sorry reindeer games, but he’s not going to let you use illusions anytime soon.”

“So I’ll be stuck here with half of my powers, taking children to dentist appointments for the rest of my days? Wonderful,” Loki replied in his signature sarcastic drawl.

“Well, all of us need to be in consensus about letting you become a full member of the team before Fury will do anything about it,” Tony explained. “Basically, you need to convince everyone here that they want you on the team.”

“Even Barton?”

“Especially Barton. He’s our head recruiter. But if you don’t want an arrow inside of you, you might want to start your campaign with someone else.”

Loki sighed and nodded. All he needed to do was to put up a political charm offensive, and he was good at those. He would have to sacrifice a small fragment of his pride, of course, but it couldn’t be worse than Sakaar. Thus, Operation Repentance commenced.

Next target: Thor, because who can stay angry at family?


End file.
